How To Say No

One of your favorite writers puts out a call for beta readers. You’re in the middle of revisions, but apply anyway because one time chance!
The next day, you come down with the flu, making it difficult to spend any time looking at a computer screen for either revisions or reading.

One of your writer friends offers you an ARC to read in exchange for review in two weeks. “Of course!” you say.
Anxiety strikes, making you not want to do anything.

Your best CP needs a quick read-through. “No problem!”
Your partner gets in a car accident that afternoon.

~

“Self, no. We need to finish our own stuff first.”

“Hey, I know I said I’d read this, but stuff came up and I really need to focus on other things for a while. I’m sorry.”

“We had a family emergency, man, I can’t get to it in time. You might want to find someone else.”

~

It seems like I re-learn this lesson every few months. I just want to help everyone. Partly because it makes me feel good to be that help, and partly because I know–in the writing community–that help given will always come back to help me. Writers are awesome like that.

All of the above examples (except the car accident, that was another bout of sickness) have happened to me in the last three weeks. I jump at the chance to help wherever I can, which is great when life doesn’t pour troubles down on me like Nickelodeon Slime.

I have a hard time saying the things in that second section above.

As you can tell, this becomes a problem. I’m currently in the middle of a bunch of reading I promised to do (because I totally wanted to and still do!) and with me being sick (physically and mentally) and dealing with sick children, plus family and church and school and work, it’s been a struggle to get through it all without everything blowing up in my face.

Has this happened to you? Am I making sense?

Luckily, I have amazing friends who have been completely understanding and have given me the extra time I need to finish it all. I’d be willing to bet you do too, even if you think you don’t. Still, part of me wants to put it all away and never volunteer ever again. I mean, I haven’t written anything in almost three weeks, and I’m feeling it.

It actually feels really great to just sit down and pound out this blog post. It’s on a deadline, and it MUST be done, and so I’m putting the other stuff aside to do it, but really. Hearing the keys click and feeling the rhythm of the words flowing, it feels so amazing.

We all know that feeling.

I’ve been telling myself I’d write after I finished everything I promised to do, but I’m starting to realize I can’t do that. One of my critique partners is always telling me to put myself first, and I have a really hard time doing that. But I need to.

Make me do it, guys. And you can do it too.

Good luck, friends. Write well. I’ll most likely see you in the morning.

-Darci

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