What’s dark, holds secrets inside, and has a story about it’s past?

No. It’s not a haunted house.

I’m talking about our inner demons, those unpleasant things that can trap us if we allow them to.

Everyone has their own story with tribulations and hard times, and our experiences are so different from anyone else’s. Something that’s a strength to one person, might be another’s downfall. We’re born in different homes and families, and raised in different cultures and religions, where we learn completely diverse ways of living. We see the world distinctly through our own eyes with what we’ve been dealt.

Maybe, we lived in a neighborhood where hearing gun shots was a normal everyday occurrence. Or maybe we personally struggled with liking the same sex, but felt ashamed for speaking up. Maybe, we had a physical disability that others could see, but the pain inside of feeling like an outcast was something you handled alone.

Abuse.

Neglect.

Failure.

Criticism.

Bullied.

Outcast.

Suicidal.

Alone.

Felt any of this before?

No matter who you are, there’s been turmoil at some point in your life and the feeling of defeat has overwhelmed you. It’s hard. Damn hard.

I’ve been working on a novel that I’ve been stuck on. Not because I didn’t know what to write or where to go, but I’ve been afraid that my dark and gritty story, would be too much to share with others.

With that thinking, my inner demons turned me back into that abused little girl, with a crooked back. The one who had no friends and felt all alone.

I knew exactly where I need to go and that was into my own backstory. Writing about your pain and endeavors isn’t easy. It takes guts to put yourself out there, with your heart and hands bleeding from the emotional pain you went through, or are going through. This is not something to shy away from though. Stand up for yourself and share how far you’ve come. No more fear.

When I personally struggle, I pour out my thoughts. I write my anger, fear, and sadness on each line, until I have nothing more to say. Sometimes for me, that’s hours later. I get it out. It’s not pretty. A bunch of ugly feelings and tough emotions, but once I’m done I find clarity.  I have peace knowing that as long as I have my words and writing, rather they’re beautiful words or not; they’re real, genuine and honest. This impacts not only myself, but others as well. When we can relate to each other in the darkest of times, there’s a connection; and a bond of understanding forms. Compassion and empathy comes into play and our words make the biggest of difference. We introduce readers into a new perspective, a different culture, and another view. They come out having an appreciation for various ways of life.

One of my favorite things is to hear about what other’s have gone through. Their hardships, their triumphs and their fight to get out of the murky waters they felt stuck in. We all have these stories to share.

As the character, Dean Winchester from Supernatural says, “Huh. Man, that’s crap. You always have a choice. You can either roll over and die, or you can keep fightin’ no matter what.”

Unlock those hidden doors inside you. Let yourself own the challenges you went through and how you’ve overcome them. Share these often with those around you, and don’t be afraid to write the ugly.

Our inner demons may make us cry, but our tears will turn to gold.

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Lauri Schoenfeld’s first love is her little clan of three silly kidlets and her wonderful hubby, Andy. Writing is a close second. She began writing poems at the age of nine, and her love for literature and music developed into composing thirty songs.  In 2014 her short story, Christmas Treasure, was featured in an anthology called, Angels from their Realms of Story.  Her favorite genre to write is anything dark, psychological, and suspenseful, but she enjoys expanding her horizons and dipping her feet in other genres as well.  Lauri teaches summer writing classes for kids and mentors teens throughout the year. She’s a Child Abuse and Scoliosis Survivor. Lauri runs a group for teen girls with Scoliosis called, The S Squad. Their motto is Strength, Support and Self Confidence.  She’s been known to dance around the house with a spoon as her microphone and sneak toppings from the ice cream bar. Lauri’s taken online classes at the Institute of Children’s Literature and was the President of the League of Utah Writers, Oquirrh Chapter for two years.  She’s a member of Crime Writers and International Thriller Writers.